I am currently in Rio de Janeiro at the moment. I have 11 days sober. For the past 11 days, I have been doing a Zoom meeting every day. All different Zoom meetings as my schedule is never the same. Today I spoke for the first time in the meeting. The chairwoman called on random people and she just so happened to call on me. The meeting was based on this thought:
The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as its quality. A person who has been in A.A. for a number of years may not be in as good mental condition as a person who has only been in a few months. It is a great satisfaction to have been an A.A. member for a long time and we often mention it. It may sometimes help the newer members, because they may say to themselves, “If they can do it, I can do it.” And yet the older members must realize that as long as they live, they are only one drink away from a drunk. What is the quality of my sobriety?
This reading hit home for me. After traveling to Minnesota where I completed a 30 day rehab at The Retreat and lived in a sober house for 2 months, I did all the things they tell you to do in AA – and I was the happiest I had ever been emotionally. I got a Sponsor and we worked the 12 steps together once per week. However, I was eager to get back home.
After I had moved home, I failed to go to meetings and I did not get a new sponsor. I became a dry drunk for the next 6 months and finally I took that drink. The quality of my program completely deteriorated. The number of days sober fed into my ego that I was cured and no longer needed help. 11 days ago I had a horrible blackout and did some things I regret financially. I could not bring myself to feel better about what had happened. “Maybe an AA meeting will make me feel better”, I thought. And it did. And so here I am 11 days later and I keep on coming back.
I don’t care that I am 11 days sober. Like the passage says, I care about the quality of my program. If I can get a sponsor and work the steps, that’s the quality I am looking for.
I am currently in Rio de Janeiro and there is an English speakers meeting every Friday. I have yet to go, but in 2 days I am finally going to make that meeting.
– Charlie G